Thursday, May 16, 2013

Don't Ask Me That, Part I

While I'm on vacation this week, one of my very best friends Dianna Snow has volunteered to share some insights with you about weddings and things you simply shouldn't say to a bride-to-be. She's getting married next April and is documenting the process on her own blog. If you like what she has to say here, consider visiting her there!

/ / / / / / / / / 

By 25, everyone has had experiences either with getting engaged and planning a wedding, or having a friend who has gotten engaged. There are millions of blogs of with questions for brides to ask their caterers, their grooms, their wedding party... etc. However, there is rarely a list of those comments or questions that can make a bride uncomfortable or even mad. I have come up with a few guidelines and questions to avoid when talking with a bride (or groom) to be.

When a bride and groom finalize any detail of their wedding they have more than likely put a lot of thought into that detail; be it the colors for the wedding, the date, the wedding party (which was by far my toughest decision), or the venue. Because this event is so significant, these decisions are being made cautiously and carefully. Keeping that in mind, the following questions and comments will upset the couple because after all of that hard work and all of that stress, you are criticizing their calls and questioning their judgement. This is THEIR big day, not yours, so even if you don’t like something that they want to do, just go with it:

  • I’m in the bridal party, right? / My daughter is the flower girl, right?
  • Why in the world would you want... (fake flowers, a band, a black wedding ring, etc.)
  • That date/location is really inconvenient for me. Can you move it?
  • What’s the rush? / Why such a long engagement?

Many personal issues also come to light with wedding planning. Marriage is more than just two people who have fallen in love and decided to officially be married. Different beliefs and experiences can cause a couple to make extremely difficult compromises and for many of them the details are personal and should be kept between the couple. Do not make some of the comments below as they can be humiliating for a bride:

  • Should you really be wearing white?
  • Are you pregnant?
  • I am so disappointed that you... (aren’t getting married in a church, etc.)
  • Are you a virgin? / What are you wearing on your wedding night?
  • Are you going to make his son call you mom?
  • You registered at Wal-Mart? Why? (Note: I registered at Wal-Mart because it was practical.)
  • I am so glad you are not marrying another woman.
  • How much did __ cost? / Who is actually paying for the wedding? / Where are you getting the money for all of that?

/ / / / / / / / / 

Are you guilty of asking any of these questions? Come back tomorrow to hear the rest!


  1. Yay for part one!! Thanks for posting my blog!! Sorry it was so long it needed two days! You are awesome, enjoy your vacation!!