Yesterday, Dianna shared with you some questions you should never ask a bride who is planning her wedding. I had some difficulty with friends & family members while planning my own wedding, but was rarely asked anything this crazy! Here are the rest...
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As I have already said, weddings are stressful. There are some questions or comments that you can ask that you may think are helpful but have the opposite effect. When you offer to help in certain areas you can be intruding and overbearing. Brides heads are full of advice and questions from almost the second they say yes, be mindful that the couple will consider what you said but depending on the topic they may not wish for you to divulge. There are also some comments that you may say intending to be harmless but it is actually completely offensive and downright rude or are just plain annoying so here are a few examples of questions you should THINK about before actually saying:
- Can we drop by the room after the wedding, I would love to see how you think it went and share my pictures with you, I know you will be excited to see them.
- When are you having kids? (Soooo many people will be asking this. Try not to put the horse before the carriage!)
- Can I be your photographer/DJ/officiant?
- I’ll diet with you since of course you are going to try to lose weight.
- I can’t believe you are getting married before me.
- Is this really a good idea?/Do you think it is going to last?
Believe it or not, men dream about their wedding day as much as women, they just do not admit it so freely (source: actual men). Whether it is a dream of being a princess, having a classic traditional gathering, or wearing a short pink polka dot dress in front of the justice of the peace, a bride AND groom have a vision for their wedding that will just be LEGEN-wait for it, or maybe don’t since you are reading and can just skip ahead-DARY. There are comments that, once again may be intended to be helpful, but will ruin the illusion for the couple.
Stop and remind yourself that the GROOM has a say! Personally, I could not have even gotten past posting our engagement on Facebook without my fiancé. We have made almost every single decision together or have at least discussed each other's views for OUR wedding... seeing as it takes two to marry. So you know the drill, here are some examples:
- Why don’t you do ___ like your sister did at her wedding, I thought that was just wonderful.
- I saw that exact same centerpiece and favor combination on the most commonly used wedding trends list on the Knot.
- Cool, EVERYONE is doing that, I’m sure you will enjoy that.
- Why would you have to discuss it with the groom? It is YOUR wedding.
So there it is, my completed list of what not to say to a bride. Depending on your relationship with the bride there may be many of the questions above that you CAN ask without any hard feelings but it never hurts to follow these simple rules: THINK of how your questions could be perceived and determine if it is really YOUR business to know (would you like someone asking you about that?). Weddings are truly about the couple and their commitments, likes, dislikes and love. I am not an expert in weddings but I hope you find this helpful!
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Thanks Dianna for sharing these tips about talking to brides and grooms. I'm now running over in my head whether or not I've asked Dianna anything I shouldn't have. ;) What do YOU think? What's the most annoying questions you were asked while you were engaged?